Friday Fun.

Hi everyone, I hope you've had a great week.

This is not a posting of the usual variety offering some pieces of wisdom. No this just came to me in an email and I thought I'd share with you all.

These are from a book called Disorder in the American courts, and are things people actually said
in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of
staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it
until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gettin' laid.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you for real? Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new
attorney?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
__________________________________________________________

THIS IS MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE;

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work..
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
_________________________________________________________
And the best for last:


ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Have a loveley weekend one and all.

Robert

Rapid and Instant Hypnosis Induction Strategies

Whether you want to learn stage hypnosis or practice street hypnosis, or have been practicing professionally for years, or if you are a clinical hypnotist looking for better ways to engage your clients, rapid and instant inductions can improve your presentation and confidence.

If you use YouTube.com, you’ve probably seen tons of free hypnosis video clips on instant or rapid induction methods. One quite popular video is Milton Erickson’s Handshake Induction, and others have videos up demonstrating versions of an NLP handshake induction. Many of these clips are entertaining to watch, but some of them, while short, are actually quite educational, such as those posted by professional hypnotists Richard Nongard, John Cerbone, the "Hypnosis Gurus."

Many hypnotists may wonder why you would use an instant or rapid induction, rather than a traditional induction. For some it’s only a matter of personal preference, but they all have their uses, in specific situations.

Traditional induction methods, such as PMR or progressive muscle relaxation, eye-fixation, visualization and awareness inductions are still quite useful with specific populations, such as certain clinical life-improvement clients. Those who are over-anxious, who just want to relax, or who expect a lengthy induction may require a more traditional approach, and that’s just fine. However, with most clients, given the option, why would you waste twenty minutes on induction when you can spend fifteen minutes of that time focused on targeted assessment, and creating and delivering practical suggestions, and move your clients along?

Furthermore, these kinds of inductions often take ten to twenty minutes or longer when done in full, so if you do a complete head-to-toe PMR induction at a stage hypnosis show, your entire audience is likely to be asleep, and that’s not what they expected or paid admission to experience.

Rapid inductions, meaning those that induce trance in about three to seven minutes, have become quite popular over the past decade, especially with stage hypnosis shows and returning clinical hypnosis clients. With a rapid induction, you are essentially cutting the more traditional induction down to, as screenwriter/author William Goldman might say, ‘the good parts.’ Instead of addressing every single muscle in the body for a PMR induction, you would work with muscle groups (shoulders and arms, torso, legs), and instead of delivering the induction in an Ericksonian or indirective, free-style unabridged manner, your speech would be far more pithy and instructional in nature. In short, fewer words with more direction equals less time into trance.

The rising popularity of ‘street hypnosis’ - performing hypnotic acts rather spontaneously in social situations - has created a need for more immediate inductions. European sensation hypnotist Peter Powers popularized street hypnosis with a television special several years ago. However, his show would have been quite boring had they also filmed and showed the pre-talk and intensive induction process he used, rather than just the entertaining phenomena he demonstrated with his subjects. Average Joe hypnotists do not carry cameras around, and their subjects on the street or in local bars and restaurants expect instant results.

Responding to this demand, celebrity hypnotist John Cerbone, an originator of several eye-popping induction methods, working closely with innovative hypnotist Richard Nongard, have taken the term ‘instant’ quite literally, and have shaved induction time down to literally three to six seconds. Their amazing results are now known the world over as ‘speed-trance.’

There are several variations of the instant induction method, from refreshing twists on the famous NLP, Milton Erickson and Cal Banyan’s rapid Handshake Inductions, to Cerbone’s original six-second Butterfly Flutterdown. With a little practice and an open mind, these strategies are simple to master and will certainly WOW the crowd. Additionally, they are quite useful as hypnotic convincers in stage show productions, as well as for getting down to business with returning clinical clients.

A great resource for "Speed Trance" and other stage and clinical induction instructional videos - and much more - is www.SubliminalScience.com, the Hypnosis Superstore.  Visit today, and enhance your hypnotic skills!