Have you ever wondered just how many ways us human beings communicate? If so here’s a few facts and statistics about non verbal communication – Body Language.
Mario Pei, estimated humans produce up to 700,000 different signs.
Ray Birdwhistell, estimates the face is capable of over 250,000 expressions.
M H Krout, identified 5,000 distinct hand gestures.
G W Hughes has catalogued 1,000 different postures and their accompanying gestures. According to Wharton University studies, human beings take in information about the world around us through our five senses (actually we have many more than just five that everyone thinks but that’s another article)
Eyes 82%
Ears 11%
Other senses 7%
Retention Verbal 10%
Retention Verbal – Visual 51%
Albert H Mehrabian experimented in the late 60’s and early 70’s and came up with this calculation in terms of how important the non verbal movements, signals and gestures are when it comes to the overall effectiveness of our communication in relaying our message to others.
Words account for only 7%
Tone of voice accounts for 38%
Body language accounts for 55%
Although in fairness, it’s not an absolutely reliable way of calculating such figures, as this study was conducted for a telecoms company over the telephone. Therefore, the person on the other end could hear the words and the tone of voice but lacked the visual input of the body language.
What are the uses of body language?
There’s predominantly three ways in which we use body language signals, movements and gestures and they are:
As a direct replacement for words – sign language is a prime example.
As a reinforcement of our words – we gesture to emphasize speech.
As a mirror of our inner emotions and attitudes – people read our faces, body angles, distance etc.
Cultural differences in body language are infinite and change all the time, especially now with worldwide movies, the internet, exotic holidays etc.
We now see more of other cultures than ever before so it makes sense that the same gestures can have several different meanings and out of all our 700,000 different signals there are said to only be six that are universal.
Happiness
Sadness
Surprise
Disgust
Anger
Fear
I’ll add to this when I get some more time.
Robert
Saturday 9 August 2008
Body Language And Being A Parent.
Being a parent is not an easy job at the best of times. While we all want to do the best for our children, we sometimes inadvertantly allow the pressures and frustrations of everyday life to show themselves when we talk with our children.
Children are incredibly perceptive to our moods and behaviour. Why ? Because they have to be, we teach them almost everything they know in the first few years of life so they pick up on these things without really having to try very hard at all.
If we're lucky, we get to spend a lot of time with our offspring in those early formative years and how we talk, move and gesture to them signals our inner feelings, unless you're already very good and practiced in making that instant change from work mode to parent mode.
How often have you been talking with your spouse, partner or another adult about your really hard day at the office, factory, shop, etc. All of a sudden in burst the kids with their Barbie dolls, Action Man or some other toy, babbling on about what they've just done with it. You, still in work mode, wag the finger at them saying something along the lines of "Can't you see I'm talking, don't interupt" sound familiar ?
Of course it does, the words might not be exactly what you'd say but I can bet that at sometime in your life you've reacted something like this to your child. You don't have to be shouting at your child to give them the indication with your body language alone, that you are not in the best of moods or that this is not the best time to get the full attention of their parent and it would be best if they went away till you are in the right frame of mind to talk and play with them.
Why? Because they pick up on the non verbal cues we all give off. It sounds very obvious and it is but how many times do we do things like this when interacting with our little loved ones. The answer for most parents unfortunately is a lot more than we should because we've not been able to immediately switch from one state of mind to another.
As children grow up with us as their mentors, they learn about the subconscious body language way before they learn the spoken language. They also learn about emotions we are expressing towards them through the tone of voice we use when speaking to them.
Can you imagine trying to koo koo a baby with an angry voice ? How do you think the child would react to these gruff and loud noises coming out of your mouth ? It just wouldn't work would it.
Because from the moment a new born baby enters this world, the influencial adults, especially the parents, talk in soft quiet tones along with gentle, soft movements. So the child learns almost immediately these people are nice, comforting and non threatening.
In fact children are born with only two fears; the fear of falling and loud noises, everything else we or others teach them. This includes how to express themselves both positively and negatively.
If you don't belive this, watch your children and see just how many of your gestures, expressions and movements they mimmick without even trying, you'll be surprised. How many times have you said "You're just like your father/mother."
So when you are talking with your child try not to tower over them and talk down at them with the wagging finger or with your arms crossed in front of your chest. Try instead to sit side by side or with your child on your lap or crouch down to their level.
Talk where possible in softer tones with your palms facing upwards and outwards. This is an open, honest and non threatening hand gesture we all use when we're being open and honest with people, you can't stop yourself in everyday conversation without sitting on your hands or putting them in your pockets or under your armpits, even then the desire has to be supressed.
Show them you are on concentrating solely on them by looking them in the eye, not at the TV, newspaper etc. Because although you may well be able to multi task different jobs, your child will perceive it as non interest and you won't get your point across in the most effective way.
We as adults spend our lives living with both the negative and positive affects of our parents, siblings and the other significant people in our lives. So make sure you pass on as many positive things to your children as you can and just taking a second or two to reflect on how best to handle your children in everyday situations.
There is nothing on this earth as precious as a child, they are priceless, each one is totally unique and our future lies in their hands.
Remember, one day they'll choose your nursing home !!!
Children are incredibly perceptive to our moods and behaviour. Why ? Because they have to be, we teach them almost everything they know in the first few years of life so they pick up on these things without really having to try very hard at all.
If we're lucky, we get to spend a lot of time with our offspring in those early formative years and how we talk, move and gesture to them signals our inner feelings, unless you're already very good and practiced in making that instant change from work mode to parent mode.
How often have you been talking with your spouse, partner or another adult about your really hard day at the office, factory, shop, etc. All of a sudden in burst the kids with their Barbie dolls, Action Man or some other toy, babbling on about what they've just done with it. You, still in work mode, wag the finger at them saying something along the lines of "Can't you see I'm talking, don't interupt" sound familiar ?
Of course it does, the words might not be exactly what you'd say but I can bet that at sometime in your life you've reacted something like this to your child. You don't have to be shouting at your child to give them the indication with your body language alone, that you are not in the best of moods or that this is not the best time to get the full attention of their parent and it would be best if they went away till you are in the right frame of mind to talk and play with them.
Why? Because they pick up on the non verbal cues we all give off. It sounds very obvious and it is but how many times do we do things like this when interacting with our little loved ones. The answer for most parents unfortunately is a lot more than we should because we've not been able to immediately switch from one state of mind to another.
As children grow up with us as their mentors, they learn about the subconscious body language way before they learn the spoken language. They also learn about emotions we are expressing towards them through the tone of voice we use when speaking to them.
Can you imagine trying to koo koo a baby with an angry voice ? How do you think the child would react to these gruff and loud noises coming out of your mouth ? It just wouldn't work would it.
Because from the moment a new born baby enters this world, the influencial adults, especially the parents, talk in soft quiet tones along with gentle, soft movements. So the child learns almost immediately these people are nice, comforting and non threatening.
In fact children are born with only two fears; the fear of falling and loud noises, everything else we or others teach them. This includes how to express themselves both positively and negatively.
If you don't belive this, watch your children and see just how many of your gestures, expressions and movements they mimmick without even trying, you'll be surprised. How many times have you said "You're just like your father/mother."
So when you are talking with your child try not to tower over them and talk down at them with the wagging finger or with your arms crossed in front of your chest. Try instead to sit side by side or with your child on your lap or crouch down to their level.
Talk where possible in softer tones with your palms facing upwards and outwards. This is an open, honest and non threatening hand gesture we all use when we're being open and honest with people, you can't stop yourself in everyday conversation without sitting on your hands or putting them in your pockets or under your armpits, even then the desire has to be supressed.
Show them you are on concentrating solely on them by looking them in the eye, not at the TV, newspaper etc. Because although you may well be able to multi task different jobs, your child will perceive it as non interest and you won't get your point across in the most effective way.
We as adults spend our lives living with both the negative and positive affects of our parents, siblings and the other significant people in our lives. So make sure you pass on as many positive things to your children as you can and just taking a second or two to reflect on how best to handle your children in everyday situations.
There is nothing on this earth as precious as a child, they are priceless, each one is totally unique and our future lies in their hands.
Remember, one day they'll choose your nursing home !!!
Sunday 3 August 2008
What do you really want in life?
How To Determine What You Want In Life
Most people don’t discover what they want in life until it’s time to late – and that’s a shame.
Most people spend the best years of their lives watching television or doing things they dislike. An author described humanity by saying, “Most people die at twenty and are buried at eighty.” Are you one of the living zombies?
What do you really want in life?
Some people struggle in answering such question. When asked what they want or what their goals in life are, many are unsure. They dillydally in their decision, hardly giving any thought about what they want in life. People without definite goals are letting time pass them by. Are you one of these people?
If you are undecided about what you want out of life, do not worry there are many ways of discovering your purpose in life.
To discover what you want in life, try looking deep into your heart.
Often, people are ruled by logic and live by what they think they should be or by what others like them to be. The discovery process is the perfect time to listen to your heart. What your heart desires comes from the whispers of your authentic self. Your authentic self is the real you.
Listen to your heart to be able to listen to your authentic self. What your heart says usually feels right. What your heart desires is what you usually love to do and this represents your passion. Anything done with passion is like play where the task is accomplished with ease and without hesitation. You pour out your very best and feel no pressure or resistance.
You will totally enjoy doing things that are your passion. Setbacks, difficulties, and obstacles will make it more challenging, but should not deter you from pursuing your goals.
Naturally, there may be barriers that may prevent you from reaching your goal, but your heart’s desire will find ways to overcome these barriers so that you may ultimately get what you want in life.
Remember this: the universe supports people who are pursuing their passion and those who are pursuing their destiny.
However, this does not mean that you don’t use your head. People are born with both the mind and heart. Your duty is to live your best life and be in harmony with your mind and heart.
The poet Rumi wisely said, “Live completely in the head and you cannot feel the breath and rhythm of life. Live completely in the heart and you may find yourself acting like a love-struck fool with poor judgment and discipline. It’s all a fine balance - the head and heart must forge a lifetime partnership if one wants to live a beautiful life.”
Listen to your instinct.
Part of human nature is the mysterious and spontaneous reaction on things. Often times, these are called instincts. Your authentic self communicates with you and guides you via instincts. Instincts are those gentle nudges that urge you to act and follow a certain path. Your role then is to listen attentively.
Often times, we listen to what others say and allow them to run our lives. Parents often do this to their children.
“We come from a family of doctors, lawyers, builders, so my son/daughter is going to be one too"
How often do we hear this from parents who have good intentions for their children? Parents unconsciously block the true expression of their child’s real self and calling. Friends and critics will discourage you and point out the impossibility of your dream. Before heeding their advice, evaluate the accomplishments of the critics. Did they achieve theirs dreams? Do they dream big at all?
Remember, it is your destiny that is in line, not theirs. It doesn’t mean, though, that you will not listen to what other people say. Hear them out just the same. But the final decision should be yours.
There is only thing to remember: Every person, to live truly and greatly, must define how he wants to live and what his brightest life will look like. Listen to your instincts and follow your heart’s desire and you won’t go far wrong.
Brian Tracy has several fantastic programmes on Goal Setting - Achieving Work-Life Balance and Strategic Achievement plus numerous others.
Check out http://www.briantracy.co.uk
Have a great day,
Robert
Most people don’t discover what they want in life until it’s time to late – and that’s a shame.
Most people spend the best years of their lives watching television or doing things they dislike. An author described humanity by saying, “Most people die at twenty and are buried at eighty.” Are you one of the living zombies?
What do you really want in life?
Some people struggle in answering such question. When asked what they want or what their goals in life are, many are unsure. They dillydally in their decision, hardly giving any thought about what they want in life. People without definite goals are letting time pass them by. Are you one of these people?
If you are undecided about what you want out of life, do not worry there are many ways of discovering your purpose in life.
To discover what you want in life, try looking deep into your heart.
Often, people are ruled by logic and live by what they think they should be or by what others like them to be. The discovery process is the perfect time to listen to your heart. What your heart desires comes from the whispers of your authentic self. Your authentic self is the real you.
Listen to your heart to be able to listen to your authentic self. What your heart says usually feels right. What your heart desires is what you usually love to do and this represents your passion. Anything done with passion is like play where the task is accomplished with ease and without hesitation. You pour out your very best and feel no pressure or resistance.
You will totally enjoy doing things that are your passion. Setbacks, difficulties, and obstacles will make it more challenging, but should not deter you from pursuing your goals.
Naturally, there may be barriers that may prevent you from reaching your goal, but your heart’s desire will find ways to overcome these barriers so that you may ultimately get what you want in life.
Remember this: the universe supports people who are pursuing their passion and those who are pursuing their destiny.
However, this does not mean that you don’t use your head. People are born with both the mind and heart. Your duty is to live your best life and be in harmony with your mind and heart.
The poet Rumi wisely said, “Live completely in the head and you cannot feel the breath and rhythm of life. Live completely in the heart and you may find yourself acting like a love-struck fool with poor judgment and discipline. It’s all a fine balance - the head and heart must forge a lifetime partnership if one wants to live a beautiful life.”
Listen to your instinct.
Part of human nature is the mysterious and spontaneous reaction on things. Often times, these are called instincts. Your authentic self communicates with you and guides you via instincts. Instincts are those gentle nudges that urge you to act and follow a certain path. Your role then is to listen attentively.
Often times, we listen to what others say and allow them to run our lives. Parents often do this to their children.
“We come from a family of doctors, lawyers, builders, so my son/daughter is going to be one too"
How often do we hear this from parents who have good intentions for their children? Parents unconsciously block the true expression of their child’s real self and calling. Friends and critics will discourage you and point out the impossibility of your dream. Before heeding their advice, evaluate the accomplishments of the critics. Did they achieve theirs dreams? Do they dream big at all?
Remember, it is your destiny that is in line, not theirs. It doesn’t mean, though, that you will not listen to what other people say. Hear them out just the same. But the final decision should be yours.
There is only thing to remember: Every person, to live truly and greatly, must define how he wants to live and what his brightest life will look like. Listen to your instincts and follow your heart’s desire and you won’t go far wrong.
Brian Tracy has several fantastic programmes on Goal Setting - Achieving Work-Life Balance and Strategic Achievement plus numerous others.
Check out http://www.briantracy.co.uk
Have a great day,
Robert
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)